I call this, the AP post. The Joke is supplied by Arif as are the convos. enjoy.


Who is Jack Schitt?


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct him or her.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt


Some convos:

[after seeing my bleached head]
AP: ok, um, you look SO gay and disgusting
AP: frankly
AP: i wouldn't want to be seen with you right now in public
AP: or anywhere else for that matter

Me: how old are u?
Me: 18? 17
AP: why?
Me: no reason
Me: u look older, thats all
AP: do i?
AP: you trying to imply something here?
Me: ure ready for marriage son
Me: i have a friend
Me: shes all about you
AP: i was ready for marriage a long time ago
AP: oh man oh man
AP: you got me all excited now
Me: u old man
Me: ure such a geezer
AP: it's ok buddy, you just tell me your friends email, you've been useful
Me: one sec
AP: you hurry up there buddy, im' getting tired of waiting
Me: inshallah brother
[long wait]
AP: so you made this up? and got me all worked up for nothing?
AP: you cruel and evil man
Me: indeed i did
Me: indeed i am
AP: all the pathans are the same
AP: are pathan girls hot?
AP: cause then all is forgiven
Me: mmmmmhmmm
AP: they're that good?
AP: what have i been doing all my life?!?
AP: TO PATHANISTAN AND BEYOND!
AP: i feel like Tin-Tin
AP: i'm ready for some adventures
AP: so you know any pathani girls?
AP: is fluency in Pashtun an asset?
AP: or is good english even better?
AP: the etymological properties of the ....

What I've been reading:

The Return of Common
Awaiting the return of Esthero
Madrassah = Terror breeding ground?
Boredom at its finest
Hamzah at his finest

I also did some revamping on the Shehnai Restaurant Website

Currently Addicted to: Bif Naked - Let Down, Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein - Zara Zara, K-OS - Crucial.

Comments

Anonymous said…
haha. schittos life story!

zara zara? wicked song!! :-)
Sal said…
ahahaha. did you write that?
Asi said…
All Pathan's are hot... pushtu, however, isn't.
Not Zahra. said…
Assalamu alaykum

Lol, AP, why don't you post good schitt like this on your blog? :p
TR-909 said…
Im gone for a while. Take care.

In the meantime, Arif is incharge of the Blog. Obey him and he will add you to his msn list. Be nicer and he'll unblock you.
Raja Pakistani said…
Ahaha that was hilarious. But you forgot their distant, often angry cousin, Ape Schitt. And you never wanna be around when a member of the Schitt family hits a fan.
Anonymous said…
hmm..it hasn't even been 3days since mudasser went away and this place already feels so empty.
Anonymous said…
blog surfing, came to ur blog, checked out ur photos, and then BOOM i see my cuz Rashad in this photo: http://www.goldenfoto.com/displayimage.php?album=5&pos=3
pretty crazy, anyways im coming to canada in 2 weeks for my other cuz's wedding, asim, i might see you, make dua for me, jazakAllah khair, ma3asalama - MR
Squeeky said…
Assalaamu Alaikum :D

I haven't heard that 'joke' in agesss
AP said…
Goldi: AP doesn't block. Never. Ever. And I give out my msn to few. Very few. Only those that buy me bday gifts work themselves up to that list.
Anonymous said…
sh!t...

*lowers glaze&walks of*
Anonymous said…
Goldi: you linked me. That gives me the giggles.

You're gonna get a special treat soon *smirk*
Anonymous said…
is it a chocolate bar??
AP said…
3 cheers for Mudasser!
Anonymous said…
oh thank you thank you thank you! :-P
AP said…
So I finally ended my procrastination spell and updated my blog. Later tonight I'll put one up over here.
Anonymous said…
Arfi = Boring. sorry bro u couldn't keep up the goldi standard. :P please try to be less boring next time. that is if goldi leaves u the incharge..
AP said…
perfectionist: me and the boys from the hood are going to see the opening Leafs game, we've got an extra ticket, why don't you come join us?
Anonymous said…
Ap: you and what boys? and yeah if they are as boring as u then no thank you. i'll live. :P
Anonymous said…
holy crap that was so lame.
this blog is degrading by the week.. take it back muds. please.

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