I call this, the AP post. The Joke is supplied by Arif as are the convos. enjoy.
Who is Jack Schitt?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct him or her.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
Some convos:
[after seeing my bleached head]
AP: ok, um, you look SO gay and disgusting
AP: frankly
AP: i wouldn't want to be seen with you right now in public
AP: or anywhere else for that matter
Me: how old are u?
Me: 18? 17
AP: why?
Me: no reason
Me: u look older, thats all
AP: do i?
AP: you trying to imply something here?
Me: ure ready for marriage son
Me: i have a friend
Me: shes all about you
AP: i was ready for marriage a long time ago
AP: oh man oh man
AP: you got me all excited now
Me: u old man
Me: ure such a geezer
AP: it's ok buddy, you just tell me your friends email, you've been useful
Me: one sec
AP: you hurry up there buddy, im' getting tired of waiting
Me: inshallah brother
[long wait]
AP: so you made this up? and got me all worked up for nothing?
AP: you cruel and evil man
Me: indeed i did
Me: indeed i am
AP: all the pathans are the same
AP: are pathan girls hot?
AP: cause then all is forgiven
Me: mmmmmhmmm
AP: they're that good?
AP: what have i been doing all my life?!?
AP: TO PATHANISTAN AND BEYOND!
AP: i feel like Tin-Tin
AP: i'm ready for some adventures
AP: so you know any pathani girls?
AP: is fluency in Pashtun an asset?
AP: or is good english even better?
AP: the etymological properties of the ....
What I've been reading:
The Return of Common
Awaiting the return of Esthero
Madrassah = Terror breeding ground?
Boredom at its finest
Hamzah at his finest
I also did some revamping on the Shehnai Restaurant Website
Currently Addicted to: Bif Naked - Let Down, Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein - Zara Zara, K-OS - Crucial.
Who is Jack Schitt?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct him or her.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
Some convos:
[after seeing my bleached head]
AP: ok, um, you look SO gay and disgusting
AP: frankly
AP: i wouldn't want to be seen with you right now in public
AP: or anywhere else for that matter
Me: how old are u?
Me: 18? 17
AP: why?
Me: no reason
Me: u look older, thats all
AP: do i?
AP: you trying to imply something here?
Me: ure ready for marriage son
Me: i have a friend
Me: shes all about you
AP: i was ready for marriage a long time ago
AP: oh man oh man
AP: you got me all excited now
Me: u old man
Me: ure such a geezer
AP: it's ok buddy, you just tell me your friends email, you've been useful
Me: one sec
AP: you hurry up there buddy, im' getting tired of waiting
Me: inshallah brother
[long wait]
AP: so you made this up? and got me all worked up for nothing?
AP: you cruel and evil man
Me: indeed i did
Me: indeed i am
AP: all the pathans are the same
AP: are pathan girls hot?
AP: cause then all is forgiven
Me: mmmmmhmmm
AP: they're that good?
AP: what have i been doing all my life?!?
AP: TO PATHANISTAN AND BEYOND!
AP: i feel like Tin-Tin
AP: i'm ready for some adventures
AP: so you know any pathani girls?
AP: is fluency in Pashtun an asset?
AP: or is good english even better?
AP: the etymological properties of the ....
What I've been reading:
The Return of Common
Awaiting the return of Esthero
Madrassah = Terror breeding ground?
Boredom at its finest
Hamzah at his finest
I also did some revamping on the Shehnai Restaurant Website
Currently Addicted to: Bif Naked - Let Down, Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein - Zara Zara, K-OS - Crucial.
Comments
zara zara? wicked song!! :-)
Lol, AP, why don't you post good schitt like this on your blog? :p
In the meantime, Arif is incharge of the Blog. Obey him and he will add you to his msn list. Be nicer and he'll unblock you.
pretty crazy, anyways im coming to canada in 2 weeks for my other cuz's wedding, asim, i might see you, make dua for me, jazakAllah khair, ma3asalama - MR
I haven't heard that 'joke' in agesss
*lowers glaze&walks of*
You're gonna get a special treat soon *smirk*
this blog is degrading by the week.. take it back muds. please.