OK. So I don't feel like typing and doing that army post. I promise this is funny though.
AP: the words of gujarati amir saab still do scare me
AP: i think all this tablighi propaganda is ruining my trust in Allah's mercy
(after Arif is shown his next opponent in checkers [an innocent looking female])
AP: we're gonna compete with her?
AP: i feel like i'm in a category with the child molesters
AP: hm, no one is on msn.
Me: Isn't that a terrible feeling?
AP: No, that's the usual feeling for me.
(Pious brother trying to be funny unfortunately met by Arif)
U: isn't this past mudasser's bed time?
AP: isn't this past your jerk-off time?
AP: oh get this
AP: i asked zohra what the term for a female sheep was
AP: and she responded with 'arif'
AP: sorry, i was talking to hatia
AP: i'm trying to tell him, that riyaz's sn
AP: he was basically calling us out
AP: it was tantamount to calling our mothers whores
AP: '5:36 in the mile, beat that you weiners'
AP: but he's not a town choudhary with a handlebar moustache
AP: so we can't let him get away
(at the web cafe on Danforth St.)
Me: Gimme the address
AP: NO
Me: terrible
AP: unless you want to walk over and force it from me
Me: im not a barbarian, ill keep my dissapointment in you instead
AP: i'm just being honourable
AP: one day the credit card company might call me asking for you
AP: you can be sure that day that their lurings of waived annual fees won't break me
Seinfeld:
"That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?"
- Jerry, after Elaine told him that she always faked it, in "The Mango"
"The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses. That's sexual perjury!"
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"Can't you tell I'm upset?"
"No, maybe you're faking!"
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Mango"
Family Guy:
[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Cleveland: Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protestors burned down our porta-potties and I used my stream of justice to put out the hate.
Diane Simmons: Our top story tonight, I have been cast as the lead in the Quahog Players' production of The King And I.
Tom Tucker: In other news, I won't be going to the play because I'm sure it will be lousy.
Diane Simmons: This just in: Tom, you're such a closet case.
Tom Tucker: We now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane?
[Brian and Chris try to sneak into a fair by wearing a horse suit]
Ticket Seller: Wait a minute... your ass just sneezed. And horses can't talk. No, no... nothing here adds up at all.
Currently Addicted to: Fugees - Killing Me Softly, Mariah Carey - Honey, Muse - Blackout, Mehdi Hassan - Ranjish Hi Sahi
AP: the words of gujarati amir saab still do scare me
AP: i think all this tablighi propaganda is ruining my trust in Allah's mercy
(after Arif is shown his next opponent in checkers [an innocent looking female])
AP: we're gonna compete with her?
AP: i feel like i'm in a category with the child molesters
AP: hm, no one is on msn.
Me: Isn't that a terrible feeling?
AP: No, that's the usual feeling for me.
(Pious brother trying to be funny unfortunately met by Arif)
U: isn't this past mudasser's bed time?
AP: isn't this past your jerk-off time?
AP: oh get this
AP: i asked zohra what the term for a female sheep was
AP: and she responded with 'arif'
AP: sorry, i was talking to hatia
AP: i'm trying to tell him, that riyaz's sn
AP: he was basically calling us out
AP: it was tantamount to calling our mothers whores
AP: '5:36 in the mile, beat that you weiners'
AP: but he's not a town choudhary with a handlebar moustache
AP: so we can't let him get away
(at the web cafe on Danforth St.)
Me: Gimme the address
AP: NO
Me: terrible
AP: unless you want to walk over and force it from me
Me: im not a barbarian, ill keep my dissapointment in you instead
AP: i'm just being honourable
AP: one day the credit card company might call me asking for you
AP: you can be sure that day that their lurings of waived annual fees won't break me
Seinfeld:
"That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?"
- Jerry, after Elaine told him that she always faked it, in "The Mango"
"The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses. That's sexual perjury!"
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"Can't you tell I'm upset?"
"No, maybe you're faking!"
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Mango"
Family Guy:
[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Cleveland: Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protestors burned down our porta-potties and I used my stream of justice to put out the hate.
Diane Simmons: Our top story tonight, I have been cast as the lead in the Quahog Players' production of The King And I.
Tom Tucker: In other news, I won't be going to the play because I'm sure it will be lousy.
Diane Simmons: This just in: Tom, you're such a closet case.
Tom Tucker: We now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane?
[Brian and Chris try to sneak into a fair by wearing a horse suit]
Ticket Seller: Wait a minute... your ass just sneezed. And horses can't talk. No, no... nothing here adds up at all.
Currently Addicted to: Fugees - Killing Me Softly, Mariah Carey - Honey, Muse - Blackout, Mehdi Hassan - Ranjish Hi Sahi
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Khuda Hafiz