I proudly call this post: conversations with Arif Patel. You shall know why in just a second.

AP (on Usama Bin Laden): Any man who leaves a fortune of billions behind and the prospect of the finest imported haraam ass for war has got to be a hero.


AP: you're always LOLing
AP: like these annoying girls in my school
AP: they say LOL and OMG while talking in class
Me: the LOLing is a genuine indication that you are one hilarious dude on msn
AP: if only the fine bitches thought i was funny
AP: well i'm not gloating or whatever, but come to think of it
AP: they do laugh a lot when i'm around


AP: 150 ml Hugo Boss
AP: no wait, it was a tester, good thing i didn't get it
AP: never get testers
AP: first of all, its undermines our classiness
AP: second, testers aren't as quality as the real thing

AP: man my comp is screwing up
AP: when i first got it from dell
AP: it was amazing
AP: all that bestiality porn
AP: girl on horse action is ruining my fine machine

AP: that tractor was lots of fun
AP: i drove it around, it could go anywhere
Me: on top of houses?
AP: well you see, a house is around 16 ft in height
AP: you can't scale walls
AP: its not a Pathan tractor
Me: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

AP: but that merc built suv was totally bitchin
AP: it felt good driving around in that, next to people on a bicycle
AP: made you feel like someone important
AP: but the best part was their motorcycles
AP: naturally they bought the most expensive and recent honda
AP: so i'd drive it around on this local road that served the nearby village communities
AP: and if anyone tried to overtake me with a bit too much cockiness, i'd show that mother fucker who had the extra horsepower

AP: mudasser, you're the man
AP: just while looking through your msa pics for suit inspirations, the other guys said, man that guys looks proper rich
AP: and when they asked why the fit babes were missing from the pics, i said, they were taking pics of mudasser, they were all impressed

Me: i would give up my height and whatever else, just so i could be a nerd who got good grades in university
AP: nah you're just saying that man
AP: you've no idea how awful it is living here at the bottom of the chain
Me: u dont believe me?
Me: wallahi i would

AP: now you just sound like a somalian
AP: WALLAHI WALLAHI

AP: well i graphed out the function y = (12+3.5x)/x on my graphing calculator
AP: obviously you know which relationship this equation describes
AP: right? mr. chemical engineer?
AP: y = the amount of money we pay individually for shipping
AP: x = the number of buyers we get in on this deal,
AP: or the amount of purchases that we make, because one person can make more then one purchase
Me: fascinating
Me: ok, link me the store
Me: the LINK!

AP: wait man hold up, somethings wrong with my equation
AP: http://stores.ebay.com/Fashion-Scents
AP: there i got it right
AP: its supposed to be like this
AP: y = (16.64+4.85(x-1))/x
AP: i changed the constants to reflect CAD
AP: using today's exchange rate
AP: 1 = 16.64, 2 = 10.75, 3 = 8.78, 4 = 7.80
AP: when would our shipping and handling be $5?
Me: man
Me: ure such a nerd


AP: and you said earlier that I'm a nerd
AP: well, in the eternal quest for ass, is that a good thing or bad thing?
Me: ure funniness eclipses ure nerdiness
Me: ure fine

AP: do babes dig guys who'll slowly pull out a Texas Instrument TI-83 Plus graphing calculator to graph a particular function?
AP: nerdiness is bad?
AP: shit
AP: that's why
AP: tomorrow on, i'm never talking about physics class no more with anyone

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